My Story...

Okay, so, I feel that it's time for me to come clean and explain my side of the drama that's seemed to hit the BSB fan base by storm. The past two months have been completely confusing and stressful because too many people have heard too many different stories. So, here I am, bearing it all for to know. If you take the time to read this, you will understand why I am reacting the way I am and maybe you'll understand why things have happened the way they have.



About a month ago, there was a rumor spread that I was dating Nick Carter. Well…to a certain degree, this is true. I was a victim of what I believe is a poser. The name of this poser isn't the issue and I'm not out to make anyone look bad. Some people would think that I should reveal this person's identity, but the drama is far too great for me to do that. Not to mention, there are far too many people who believe he's real, so I'm not adding to the fire. I'm basically here to explain my side of the story and that is all there is to it. So, let me back up a little bit and tell it from the beginning.




Almost a year ago I came across this person who claimed to be Nick Carter. Now, being someone like myself, I've been around MANY posers in my time. Naturally, I wasn't impressed or even convinced. As time went on, I talked to this person more and more and I begin to think, "Could this really be him?" At the time, everything thing seemed to fall into place. I was just casually talking to this person, but nothing ever seemed wrong in what they were saying. Eventually, August hit and suddenly I'm being referred as his girlfriend. My heart was tugged, not on the idea of being loved by "Nick Carter", but the idea of just being loved in general. This person was sweet and seemed genuinely true. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter boyfriend and I wanted to badly to believe that someone could possibly love me for who I was. However, after all this has happened, I do not believe this was true.

Things started not making sense after a while. I was told he was one place and pictures were released of him in another place. Facts that were being told didn't add up to the knowledge that I knew. I was just confused as to what to believe. I was sent this drawing with his signature and I didn't know what to think.





I begged for him to come see me after having a hard time with my personal life…suddenly he had to head home to rescue his dog. I didn't question any of this out loud…but in my mind, I was beginning to wonder what I was getting myself into. Promises were starting to be made, but no results were coming out of them. However, like the good hearted person that I am…I continued to give him the benefit of a doubt. I mean, after all…this man said he loved me, so who was I to question him?

After we spent nearly two months together, I was asked to join Pogo.com, so we could play online games together. At first, this was a lot of fun and a great way to spend time together since we were apart in distance. Later, the idea of us joining a league together was brought up. I liked this idea even better. So, we joined the league and I made a great group of friends in the process. It was fun playing the games, talking to new people, and spending time with this person that I loved. Nothing felt more right.



However, all good things must come to an end. This was when the drama hit. The first thing that happened was that one of the league members took a close liking to "Nick." I didn't mind this, but the problem with it was that she was really nice to me and it wasn't helping my relationship. He became jealous and even angry because I was telling her things instead of coming to him first. There are two incidents that come to mind. The first time was after one of my night shifts at work. I was attacked in the parking lot and was nearly raped. I turned to her first because she was a woman and the fact that he was feeling very ill and I didn't want to worry him. Naturally, when he found out I told her first, he wasn't happy with me. The next incident was when I admitted that I was too broke to buy my own food. I live here rent free, but my father buys the food for the house. He didn't buy anything I could eat for my low blood sugar, so I didn't know what I was going to do. Without even asking, another friend from the league, sent me $100 by money gram. I was deeply touched and used all the money to buy food for myself. When he found this out, he was upset that I kept it from him and told me he would've sent me money if I needed it that bad. Once again, I felt like I had failed him. Of course, on a side note…word got out of who I was and how I was associated with "Nick." The next thing I know…I'm being harassed on my MySpace page and MSN screen name. It was never clear as to who squealed, but it was a downward spiral from there.

As this all goes along, there were other things that added to the situation. One thing was a jealous ex girlfriend who wanted me away from him. On top of that were two crazy people who were stalking him in the game rooms. This is when everything got confusing. There were about three different stories as to who these three girls were and how they were involved with "Nick." One night, after a game, I am being yelled at with accusations of sending letters to his ex and trying to add her to my MSN. I was floored by how quickly everything happened after this. I was immediately dumped by him and he called me a liar, then told me to "F" off. I was kicked off the league for "causing trouble to staff and league members." All my friends who were from the league were no longer speaking to me and I was the biggest witch of the world. All because someone decided they wanted to mess with my life. The whole thing nearly made me go insane. I couldn't believe how quickly my name had been drug into the ground, just by a malicious act of one person.



Of course, even after being dumped…it didn't stop there. I had blocked myself from him and anyone accusing me of the lies. I deleted my MySpace and made a final video for my You Tube. I was determined to get myself away from this mess before it got worse. I didn't act soon enough…it got MUCH worse. Things were peaceful for about three days and then I got on Pogo to play a game. The next thing I know, I'm being visited by a girl who claimed she was fooled by an A.J. poser who was associated with my "Nick." She continued to explain how she got pulled into the game and wanted us to stick together. I had no idea who this girl was or how she knew me by name. I was very confused and then later accused by someone from league that I was going around telling people to harass "Nick" and the league members. This is entirely untrue and I have no idea how any of that got started, but I was on wits end.



I used the support of my friends to try and pull myself out of this slump. However, that didn't mean my friends were as calm as I was. Several of my friends had found out who this "Nick" was and spread the word to anyone they could get their hands on. I cannot control the actions of my friends and nor would I even try. There are very few people that I have revealed who this poser is and those people know who they are. I have stated what I believed of the situation and they respected it. It only took for one friend to get ticked off and the word was quickly spread around.



In the process of trying to get out of this mess, I lost two friends. They were for me in the beginning, but as soon as they were told that I was behind the mess…they blocked me from their lives. I didn't even know what had happened. I finally got an answer yesterday and was basically told they were going with his story instead of mine. I was sick of trying to prove my innocence to people. I realized that it wasn't worth it. I'm going to let them believe what they want…but if they get hurt by this situation, I won't feel sorry for them.



I'd like to take a moment to clear something up about myself. First of all, the entire time I was with "Nick." I never asked him for anything…no money, no material possessions, no nothing. I just wanted to live my life the way I wanted without his help. The money his friend sent me…I bought myself food and then got my paycheck a little under a week after the money was sent. It was spread that I saved the money for BSB tickets. This is entirely untrue, I even paid her the money back because I was tired of the accusations of being a user. I was being pigeon holed into a trap that I didn't belong in.



I have my reasons for why I don't believe he was ever the real Nick. Most of them are reasons far too pointless to say because most wouldn't believe me anyway. And to be perfectly honest…I really could care less anymore. I've blocked this person from any contact with me. They can go on fooling people into believe he's the real Nick Carter, but I'm sticking to my guns. I'm not gonna try and convince people he's not real, because, frankly, people are gonna believe what they want to believe. There's no point in trying to change an opinion that's already been made. I've heard many stories about this person after I was dumped, but I am not out to ruin him. Some people seem to think I couldn't handle being dumped by "Nick Carter." Well, here's the thing…I never had any proof to believe he was real. So, why would I be freaking out over the idea of being dumped by him? In my mind, I was fooled, but logic later kicked in and I realized that I was just a victim of a sick game.



People, the internet is a powerful tool. You can make people believe anything you want them to believe. It's easy to pretend to be someone you're not, but it's never worth it in the end. Posers are everywhere, but this one knew what they were doing. While they were fully entertained, hearts were broken and lives were torn apart. The only reason why I chose to tell my story is because too many people were looking at me in a negative way. I am not a bad person and I genuinely care for the people I talk to. If any of you knew me at all…you would've talked to me first before making the assumption based off an opinion of a poser. Now that I've told my story…maybe next time you'll be more careful of what you believe. Things are not always what they seem and assuming only makes you look ignorant. Stop and think logically of the situation and maybe you'll find the truth hiding behind the lies.